Running From The Loneliness

No abundance of friends, no number of different marriages, no quantity of moves to new cities can ever take the loneliness away.

"Jesus experienced the loneliness of being misunderstood immediately after giving a series of discourses regarding his identity. He had explained that he was the bread of life, the source of living water, and the light of the world. In addition to all this teaching, Jesus had lived among the people, walked their roads, healed their sick, and fed their hungry. But even after all this, the people still asked him, 'Who are you?'" -- M. Craig Barnes (Sacred Thirst)

"Each of us has a deep-seated need to be significant, unique, connected, and enjoying a powerful relationship with God that is relevant to our everyday life. We have an unquenched hunger to understand and to be understood. ... Loneliness disguised as incompatibility and generated from failing to be understood is the enemy of many marriages. The pain of having no one with similar beliefs, convictions, and choices of recreation leaves both spouses feeling isolated." -- John D. Carlson (Passion for His Presence--Entering His Gates)

Mother Terresa said it well: "Suffering, pain, sorrow, humiliation, feelings of loneliness, are nothing but the kiss of Jesus."

It is our loneliness, our "suffering that so often causes us to see our need. It is our suffering that makes us cry out to God." -- Charles Ringma (Wash the Feet of the World)

"God has not forgotten about our dark nights of restless sorrow. Only when we discover God in the darkest moments of life will we believe that he can and will make the sun finally rise and the new day dawn.

To stand alone in the presence of God is to stand in a place of transformation. There our lonely hearts are reformed and transformed with deep emotions such as joy, love, and compassion for those around us.

It is only in solitude with God that we discover the sufficiency of a God who also yearns for us--so much so that in Jesus Christ he came looking for us.

So instead of running from the loneliness, stay with it. Stare it straight in the eye, and turn it into a prayer of confession. It is the only way to hear the word of the Lord: I HAVE NOT LEFT YOU ALONE." -- M. Craig Barnes (emphasis mine)

Loneliness drives us to aloneness. Aloneness drives us to solitude.

Henri Nouwen reminds us, "Solitude is the way in which we grow into the realization that where we are most alone, we are most loved by God. It is a quality of heart, an inner quality that helps us to accept our aloneness lovingly, as a gift from God."

The Heart can only be satisfied by the One who created it. The yearning is for God.

Happiness is Temporary; Joy is Lasting

Yikes! It is the end of the first month of a New Year. This year was going to be different. This year we had plans and goals that we knew would head us in the direction we wanted to be going.

What were you seeking in this first thirty days of the New Year? Perhaps it was happiness, success, new relationships, meaningful work -- our lists are undoubtedly different and probably quite long. But whatever was at the top of our list, we realize how far we have yet to go.

J.I.Packer reminds us, "The paradoxical truth is that to seek pleasure, comfort, and happiness is to guarantee that you will miss them all. ... These subjective states become heart realities only as by-products that come from focusing on something else, something perceived as valuable, invigorating, and commanding." (Hot Tub Religion, 64-65)

The Reality is: Happiness is a by-product of loving God.

In the end, we must agree with David, who for all his failures, mess-ups, and griefs knew that joy is found in a life lived in companionship with God. "You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever" (Psalm 16:11).

The Life Application Bible reminds us: True joy is far deeper than happiness; we can feel joy in spite of our deepest troubles. Happiness is temporary because it is based on external circumstances, but joy is lasting because it is based on God's presence within us ... As we understand the future he has for us, we will experience joy. Don't base your life on circumstances, but on God."

So what has gone wrong for you in January 2011? Perhaps you are doing the most important work of your life -- and the enemy knows it and has stepped in with some direct shots of spiritual warfare. Perhaps you are grieving the death of a loved one or the loss of an important relationship you thought would last forever. Perhaps the news from your doctor is worse than you are prepared to accept. Perhaps your finances have taken a big hit -- and in this economy its hard to see how you'll ever dig yourself out of the pit.

Do you think any of your problems have caught God by surprise? No, definitely not. And he has not left us unprepared or unarmed. In fact, his instructions are very specific. Read them with me in Deuteronomy 30:6-11 New Living Translation:

"The Lord your God will change your heart and the hearts of all your descendants, so that you will love him with all your heart and soul and so you may live! ... The Lord your God will make you successful in everything you do. The Lord your God will delight in you if you obey his voice and keep the commands and decrees written in this Book of Instruction, and if you turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and soul. ... This command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you to understand, and it is not beyond your reach."

And you can proceed confidently on the biblical promise found in Joshua 1:8-9 NLT: "Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command--be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Okay, its a brand new month and we get another chance. To be successful, we must follow God's words to Joshua. We may not succeed by the world's standards, but we will be a success in God's eyes--and his opinion is most important (LAB note).

A New Self Can Emerge

"We too may live a new life" (Romans 6:4 TNIV).

"In the midst of change, where previous certainties and securities slip away, a new self can emerge. While we may grieve over what we have lost, we can also rejoice in the new things that we are discovering about ourselves." -- Charles Ringma (Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

God's plan may not take you in the direction you were expecting. It may not "fit" the dream you've seen of your life. But when you trust him and take the next step of obedience according to his will, you can be assured he is working out the plans for your life.

God has said, "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them. I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them" (Isaiah 42:16 TNIV).

"There are many events in our lives over which we have no control. However, we do have a choice either to endure trying times and press on or to give up. The secret of survival, whether or not we question God's presence or His ability to help us, is remembering that our hope is in the fairness, goodness, and justice of God. When we put our trust in the character of a God who cannot fail us, we will remain faithful. Our trust and faithfulness produce the endurance that sees us through the "tough stuff" we all face in this life." -- Elaine Wright Colvin (Treasure of God's Virtues)

God, you're leading me.
With confidence I face my day,
Every duty and interruption
are appointments
you've sent my way.
--Elaine Wright Colvin